Ronnie Brown is Having the Most Pleasant Contract Dispute Ever

Oh, he'll be at camp: "I got a lot of work to do, especially if we're going to go to the Super Bowl."

Everything Ronnie Brown does is polite and delightful. He's respectful. Soft-spoken. Never a lick of trouble, at least until he earned the most adorable DUI ever after honoring his parents with a 32nd wedding anniversary dinner.

He even manages to sacrificially take the injury when colliding with other players. "Excuse me, good sir, but if you'll just fall slightly to your left it'll be my [insert one: midfoot bones/ankle/hand/ACL] that [choose one: cracks in half/breaks/rips/twists] in horrifying, unnatural ways. Yes, that's it. Many thanks."

Now Brown is locked in the most polite contract dispute ever, and insisting he'll attend training camp despite the Dolphins' low-ball one-year contract offer. The team is proposing a $3.97 million single-season deal, saying they want to see their would-be leading rusher complete a full season injury-free before offering signing him to additional years.

Apparently they forgot about the year 2008, but Brown didn't. He notably and purposefully declined to sign that offer before the June 15 restricted free agent tender deadline, and he hasn't budged, but he'd like to remind everyone he's not a Jets player, or anything.

"There's nothing dramatic. It's not like anyone's expecting me to hold out. It's a few knickknack things. There's language [issues]," he told the Sun-Sentinel. "I plan on signing it. It's not a big deal. We're just talking about some things. Obviously I'd like to get something [long term] done, but there's nothing dramatic."

The financial security Ronnie Brown no doubt feels he's earned: just a few "knickknack things" and "language issues." You could probably hit the man with a car and he'd call it a slight inconvenience.

(Not signing aside, his one indulgence was this cheek about attending camp: "I got a lot of work to do, especially if we're going to go to the Super Bowl.")

So here's hoping the two sides can shortly don ascots, have a spot of tea and crumpets, and sort this out. As much as we adore Ricky Williams, no one wants to see him attempt a pass again -- even if it's not until 2011.

Janie Campbell is a Florida native who believes in the pro-set and ballpark hot dogs. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the internet.

Contact Us