• Both GM CEO Mary Barra and former IBM CEO Ginni Rometty said at the inaugural CNBC Councils: Leaders' Library on Monday that they believe early tragedies and other setbacks are the very life events that create resilience.
• Rometty said networking is not about who you know or what they can do for you, but rather what you can give.
• The female business icons also discussed the fact that 65% of Americans do not have a four-year college degree, and the importance of leaders focusing on skills-based hiring.

As members of a very small club — female CEOs of Fortune 500 companies — Mary Barra, chief executive of General Motors, and Ginni Rometty, the former CEO of IBM, are used to having their actions analyzed and magnified.

At the inaugural CNBC Councils: Leaders' Library event earlier this week, both women reflected on why they're able to handle that degree of scrutiny along with some of the other lessons that have benefited them as they've led two of the biggest companies in the world.

The genesis of Rometty's leadership journey began during a rough childhood when her father left her 32-year-old mother and their four children, a story that is detailed in her memoir, "Good Power: Leading Positive Change in Our Lives, Work, and World." Witnessing her mother's struggles and her refusal to play the victim instilled in young Rometty an ability to see a situation for what it is and to always find a path forward.

Both she and Barra said they believe that early tragedies and other setbacks are the very events that create resilience, the ability to weather life's storms, and to withstand the spotlight that has come with their roles as female CEOs.

Effective networking is about what you give, not who you know

These early life events have also enabled both leaders to appreciate how important good relationships are and to dispel some common beliefs about networking.

"There's this view of networking that it's all about who you know and what they can do for you, but I never felt that way," Rometty said. "It's what you give that always comes back to you over time. I've watched that happen throughout decades."

For example, when Barra took over the CEO post at GM in 2014, Rometty called her. "I expected nothing in return, I did it just to tell her I was here if she needed anything and what developed was a great 10-year friendship," Rometty added. And now, Barra said when leaders reach out to her, whether male or female, she reflects on what Rometty did for her and will take time to speak with them. "We all have to help each other," Barra said.

Another lesson both CEOs have learned over the years is to be more open-minded when it comes to talent. During the event, Rometty noted that 65% of Americans do not have a four-year college degree. Yet both she and Barra said that should not preclude people from getting good-paying jobs. As technology continues to speed up workers' ability to learn, a college degree is no longer an accurate proxy for what it takes to be successful. "Access and aptitude are two different things," Rometty said. "Where you start isn't where you have to end."

Barra urged talent leaders to look carefully at job descriptions to determine precisely what skills are needed and to hire for those, rather than a particular degree. "Especially in manufacturing, people gather skills and certifications without necessarily having a four-year degree," she said. And as AI gathers momentum and is deployed across more organizations, she added, "We're all going to have to learn new skills anyway."

A better future for America depends on people seeing a better future for themselves

Part of Rometty's belief in skills-based hiring is her involvement as co-chair of an initiative called OneTen whose mission is to hire and advance skilled talent among Black Americans and others without four-year degrees into family-sustaining careers over the next 10 years.

"Some people will view this skills-based approach as a way to get access to a new talent pool," Rometty said. "Others may view it as altruistic. We all have our own motivations and that's okay. But the real call to action is that if we want this country to be successful and prosperous, everybody has to see themselves having a better future and a big part of that is having a good-paying job."

CNBC's Leaders' Library is an event open to C-suite leaders across all four of CNBC's Councils — CEO Council, CFO Council, Technology Executive Council, and the Workforce Executive Council.

To learn more about CNBC Councils, visit cnbccouncils.com.