It was another banner year for "Florida Man" in 2019, as he made news across the globe for all the wrong reasons.
Thanks to "Florida Man" and "Florida Woman" we closed out the decade with another year featuring a never-ending array of news stories about people doing stupid stuff in the Sunshine State.
The term became even more viral in 2019 thanks to the "Florida Man Challenge," which urged people to look up what version of "Florida Man" they are based on their birthdays. "Florida Man" was also poised to go mainstream, thanks to an off-Broadway play over the summer and a TV series in the works.
So without further ado, here's a month-by-month breakdown of the top "Florida Man" stories of 2019.
January
We started the year off with a bang when a 30-year-old Florida man overheard threatening to kill someone "with kindness" was arrested after he allegedly cut a man with a machete that had the word "kindness" on it, authorities said. Later in the month, a Florida man who allegedly stole drugs from a Pinellas County home thought he was pocketing powerful opioids, but it turned out he actually stole laxatives.
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February
When "Florida Man" takes off his clothes in a public place, trouble always ensues. That's what happened when a man walked into an Oakland Park Walgreens store and stripped down in a February incident that was caught on camera. Another Florida man learned a hard lesson when he allegedly stole collectible coins worth tens of thousands of dollars, then ran them through grocery store change machines that returned just a fraction of their value.
March
A naked "Florida Woman" got in on the fun when a driver captured video of her running naked across a busy section of Interstate 95 in Flagler Beach. Later in the month, a Florida man who didn't want to show up for his shift at a Hardee's restaurant called 911 and reported he'd just been robbed, authorities said. The man got to skip his shift but ended up behind bars.
April
Do not get between a hungry "Florida Man" and his food. In April, a Florida man was arrested at an Olive Garden after police say he caused a drunken disturbance and was shoveling spaghetti into his mouth with his hands. And it was a "Florida Man" Easter in Orlando, when a man in an Easter Bunny costume was filmed brawling outside a bar after coming to the defense of a woman.
May
An alligator is a key accessory for the "Florida Man" or "Florida Woman." Case in point: A woman had been involved in a traffic stop in Punta Gorda when she pulled a foot-long alligator from her yoga pants, authorities said. She also had 41 3-stripe turtles in the car.
Vehicles were a key component to two other "Florida Man" stories in May, including when a man who fled a traffic stop thought it would be wise to call 911 to gloat about it. The 19-year-old was arrested on multiple charges after authorities said he asked a 911 operator "What do we pay you guys for?"
Another Florida man who was caught on camera standing through his Cadillac's sunroof while driving down a highway told troopers he'd "rather go to jail than go back home" to his wife, authorities said. His request was granted.
June
The hungry "Florida Man" could not be stopped in June. That's when a 48-year-old man was arrested for allegedly hiding meth in a container of "hot, fresh potato wedges" during a traffic stop. Not to be outdone, another man thought it would be a good idea to stop and grill a burger while breaking into a Jensen Beach Wendy's.
July
"Florida Woman" got in on the food fracas, when authorities said a woman attacked another woman with a knife when she was denied a slice of pizza.
August
It's always worrisome when "Florida Man" gets behind the wheel, even when it's a golf cart or even a bicycle. The month began with a man who was caught on camera taking his golf cart on a wild ride through a Walmart store near Tampa, terrorizing shoppers and ignoring deputies' orders to stop before crashing into a cash register. That same day, a man was stopped riding his bike nude during rush hour traffic in Wilton Manors.
In some cases, the "Florida Man" can't catch a break even when he's doing nothing wrong. That's what happened to one man who opened his front door to head to work and was bitten by a small rainforest raccoon-like creature called a kinkajou.
The wild month also saw a 74-year-old man arrested after police said he was involved in an attempted castration at a home that went terribly wrong. The man was charged with practicing medicine without a license.
September
"Florida Man" and hurricanes are generally a bad combo, but this year was different. That's because one Florida man came up with a genius way of protecting his Smart car from Hurricane Dorian when he decided to park it in his kitchen. "I said there was no way he could. He said he could," the man's wife said. "So he opened the double doors and had it in. I was amazed that it could fit. He had it in with no problems."
October
Alligators and "Florida Man" were back together in the news in October, when two men allegedly filmed themselves letting a gator bite them on the arm and pouring beer in its mouth. Not to be outdone, a man in Pinellas County was charged after he allegedly performed sex acts on a stuffed "Olaf" doll in a Target store.
November
"Florida Man" continued to provide classic stories in November, whether he was caught on camera eating tacos while burglarizing a Taco Bell, or leaving behind his cell phone while stealing condoms from Walmart. Another Florida man topped them both when he was arrested for allegedly attacking an elderly man who asked him to stop masturbating in a Miami parking lot.
December
The year wouldn't have been complete without a "Florida Man" Christmas tale. This year's involved a man who was arrested for giving out marijuana for the holiday. When police asked why he was dishing out the weed, he allegedly said "because it was Christmas."
