Mother seeks justice and blames social media after her 11-year-old took her own life

Nearly three years after an 11-year-old girl took her own life, her mother is speaking out about the dangers of social media, which she blames for the tragedy.

Tammy Rodriguez, whose daughter, Selena, took her own life in July 2021, spoke with NBC6 recently to share her daughter’s dark story in the hope of bringing light to others.

“It’s been two and a half years; July will be three years. And you know it’s hard; it’s very hard,” Rodriguez said. “Every day is something different; you don’t know where your emotions will be. You don’t know your trigger.”

Rodriguez, of Connecticut, said that her daughter used to be spirited, adding that she “shined on stage dancing; she would light up a room.”

Selena’s relationship with technology began when she was around 7-years-old, doing what make kids her age did: watching videos on a tablet.

“As she got a little older, I ended up giving her a phone, and in the beginning it was just the games and the videos, but then you could start seeing a change... she had wanted TikTok, which I let her have only to save the videos to the draft, because she loved to dance; that was one of her big things; she did that and she would save it (to drafts),” said Rodriguez. “But then she would start to sneak and start to post the things.”

Rodriguez claims her daughter became violent, even attacking her little sister when her phone was taken away.

“She wasn’t sleeping hardly at all; she wasn’t eating... she was developing an eating disorder; really, everything in her world depended on those devices. She didn’t want to go anywhere unless she could bring it with her,” said Rodriguez.

Rodriguez became concerned and even thought she had access to Selena’s account, but her daughter kept on creating new ones.

Selena’s family learned she was being bullied at school after photos Selena had sent through Snapchat had leaked to her classmates. Later on, they would come to find out that grown men had even contacted her through social media.

“We found out she was being contacted by men, adult men, that were then getting pictures from her and exploiting her,” said Rodriguez. “I had no idea that was going on and that’s what I think was even bigger than the bullying piece of it.”

Selena tragically died by suicide in July 2021.

“Horrific. It’s something you never imagine can ever happen in your world,” Rodriguez told NBC6.

One might think of drugs, alcohol, or gambling when the word “addiction” is brought up, but social media addiction has become a real issue and even a disease, according to experts.

“Part of it is recognizing that addiction is a brain disease; it’s a chronic, progressive, potentially fatal process that is manageable,” explained Dr. Adam Scioli, Chief Medical Officer at Caron Treatment Centers.

Selena is just one of the many cases of children getting addicted to social media.

According to the National Institute of Health, 24% of adolescents say they are “constantly connected,” and half of them acknowledged they’re “addicted.”

“Sadly, it can go extremely dark. I mean, it’s not hyperbolic to compare this to any other substance use disorder where you have a beginning that is seemingly innocuous... It doesn’t seem risky,” Scioli said. “On the other end of the spectrum, being terrorized or bullied by someone who doesn’t like what you posted… both of those experiences can lead to a number of mental health symptoms and certainly a mental health crisis, leading up to and including suicide.”

Scioli said the reason why teens are so vulnerable to these platforms is because human brains are developing until the person is 20 to 25-years-old. It’s a process called “pruning,” and social media or substance abuse can interrupt that development.

United States Surgeon General Vivek Hallegere Murthy is calling on Congress to mandate warning labels on social media platforms, saying they can “harm teens' mental health.”

Rodriguez was one of the many mothers who shared their pain on the floor of Congress and before the founders of different social media platforms, demanding accountability.

Mark Zuckerberg, founder and CEO of Meta, was one of those who appeared before lawmakers.

“Mr. Zuckerberg… you and the companies before us—I know you don’t mean to—but you have blood on your hands,” said Sen. Lindsey Graham.

“It’s terrible,” Zuckerberg said. “This is why we invest so much and are going to continue doing industry-leading efforts.”

“It was a horrible apology… that wasn’t an apology to me. I had my one moment where I was able to lock eyes with him and I held her picture up. I don’t know if it matters to him, but it mattered to me to hold her picture there and show him who we lost because of their product,” said Rodriguez.

The Rodriguez family has sued the companies Meta and Snapchat, alleging that Meta invests millions of dollars in consciously designing addictive, unsafe and harmful social networks to heal the health of children and adolescents.

“We want to assure every parent that we take their interests seriously in our work to help teenagers have a safe online experience. We have developed more than 30 tools and features, including ways for parents to limit the time their children spend on our apps, age verification technology, automatic restriction so that minors under 16 do not receive messages from people they do not follow, and sending notifications that encourage teenagers to take regular breaks,” Meta said in response to this lawsuit.

“While we cannot comment on any specifics of this ongoing litigation, nothing is more important to us than the well-being of our community. We work closely with many mental health organizations to provide in-app tools and resources for Snapchat users as part of our ongoing efforts to keep our community safe," Snapchat said.

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis recently signed a law in Florida prohibiting minors under 14 from having access to social media platforms.

Scioli advises parents to limit screen time and encourage them to look out for red flags such as isolation, change of mood and lack of sleep.

If you or a loved one is struggling emotionally or having a hard time, you can be the difference in getting them the help they need by calling the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 9-8-8 for help.