NBC 6’s Roxy Vargas spoke with Dr. Dara DeLeon about how to cope with loss on Mother’s Day this year.
While many celebrate Mother's Day with cards, flowers, balloons and social media posts, the holiday can also be a reminder for some of loss and grief.
"A lot of times when people have these holidays, people are excited and they can’t wait to celebrate," said clinical psychologist Dr. Dara DeLeon. "But in the background, there are a lot of people with sadness."
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Whether someone has lost a mother, maternal figure, or even a child, Mother's Day can be a tragic day of facing difficult emotions.
"If you’re experiencing pain or discomfort, people often don’t talk about it because they don’t want to spoil other people’s fun," said Dr. DeLeon. "But it’s a reality, and it’s great to invite other people to share what you’re experiencing."
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Alternatively, Dr. DeLeon says that if you know that somebody has gone through a tragic event, just ask them and be direct. She says people are often scared to upset someone, but not asking can sometimes upset them more.
Being a strong person does not necessarily mean you can't be vulnerable.
"Vulnerability is connection," said Dr. DeLeon. "I think it's important that, as a mom, when you are experiencing pain or sadness, that you let your kids know in an appropriate way so that they understand what you are experiencing."
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It's important to take a pause to celebrate our moms and mother figures on Sunday, and really every day.
"As moms, we're so modest," said Dr. DeLeon. "We take on that role of 'no, it’s okay, we’re not important.'"
But she says that by honoring ourselves and our emotions, we're also teaching our children how to honor themselves, and we're allowing them to celebrate us, therefore teaching them to celebrate themselves.
