"Who did you vote for?"

"How much did your house cost?"

"When are you going to have kids?"

There are some questions that we all just know not to ask in mixed company.

Some inquiries, though, can be less obviously offensive but just as off-putting, says Alison Wood Brooks, a professor at Harvard Business School. Brooks teaches an award-winning course in the MBA curriculum about how to talk to people to achieve success in every aspect of business and life.

"When we think of someone who is very charismatic, often what they're doing is they're just a really great listener," she says.

This makes them better able to ask questions and engage those around them. But not all questions signal that you're interested in others.

In fact, some can have the opposite effect.

In her new book, "Talk: The Science Of Conversation And The Art of Being Ourselves," Brooks outlines three types of questions good conversationalists don't ask.

1. 'Boomerasking' questions

This refers to asking a question for the "sole and obvious purpose" of answering it yourself, Brooks writes in her book.

"Motivated by the dual desires to disclose self-centered information and not seem selfish, "boomeraskers" pose a question like 'How was your weekend?' only to answer it themselves," she wrote.

These queries show you lack self-awareness.

If you want to share information about yourself, it's best to just say so explicitly instead of trying to cloak your intention with a question.

2. Gotcha questions

Brooks defines "gotcha" questions as inquiries that are supposed to test another person's knowledge. Even if they come from a genuine place of curiosity, they can often read as threatening.

Let's say a co-worker is talking about a new show they like. A gotcha response might look like "Oh really? I heard it wasn't very good. What did you like about it?"

The tone of this follow-up could make your colleague feel like you're trying to prove them wrong or make them look incompetent.

3. Repeated questions

Asking for the same information over and over again, even if you switch up the wording, can feel antagonistic.

"Repeated questions are different from gentle probes for information via follow-up questions," Brooks wrote. "They feel more like the asker is a dog with a bone and won't let it go."

If someone isn't offering up the information you want, it's best to drop it.

The right type of questions to ask

The key to asking good questions is paying attention to what others are saying and digging deeper into their experiences, Brooks says.

If a person says they recently went on vacation to Paris, your instinct might be to bring up your recent trip. A good conversationalist, though, will ask support questions like "Was that your first time?" or "What sites did you get to see?"

"[A good conversationalist is] big on follow-up questions," Brooks says. "They call back to things that people have said earlier. In that moment, it feels like the sun is shining on you."

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