Missing out on a promotion stings. No one enjoys coming in second (or third, or fourth). 

As a psychology professor at New York University who's helped hundreds of people navigate conflicts in the workplace, I've seen the frustration people experience when they just can't seem to land a promotion. They tend to wonder: What have I been doing wrong?

The reasons why people fail to land a promotion are often complex and hard to communicate. But there are patterns and commonalities that can help you understand what happened and what you can do next.

To bring some clarity to the picture, I've distilled them to three main causes that cut across professions.

1. You don't know how much status you have

People generally perceive status by paying attention to how people treat one another over hundreds of interactions, from formal meetings where important decisions are made to informal chats in the hallway. Even small things, like who's most likely to get a swift response to an email, can clue us in.

Sometimes status at work is based on the "right" things, like having relevant skills or past experience. That's what social scientists call "prestige-based status." In that case, we often defer to the person speaking without interrupting because they know what they're talking about. 

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Your competence and skill should be directly related to your status. But sometimes status is based on the wrong things, like gender, race, or family ties to the boss. 

Sometimes, being the loudest person in the room can give you status, even if it shouldn't. It can be very difficult to get promoted if you work in a place where status isn't earned.

The costliest mistake you can make when you're angling for a promotion is falsely believing you have more status than you do.

Here are small steps you can take to increase the accuracy of your perceptions.

• Read status cues. These are often subtle so it'll help to pay close attention. Over the course of several meetings or team interactions, jot down your observations about one thing: When someone speaks up, do others follow up their comments and reference the person, or do they switch gears completely?
  
• Ask around. After you've collected some data, test your assumptions about status with your boss or a leader on your team. Ask, "Do you think my contributions during our discussion about budget cuts made much of an impact?" If not, ask why.
  
  Note: Don't ask, "Do I have status here?" It's a vague-sounding question, and you might not get an honest answer because the person you're asking may think it's rude to say no. They might also simply not know.

2. There are roadblocks that don't have to do with you

Sometimes there are barriers to your success that are outside your control. Those could be structural features of the workplace that are hidden from view until you try to climb up and realize you can't.

One of the most common reasons people fail to get promoted is because their boss doesn't have as much influence as the employee thinks they do. Having a boss who wants to promote you is essential. But what if they don't have the power to make it happen?

Pay attention to cues about your manager's status. Keep track of which bosses were tied to promotions, not just who was promoted.

You might be failing to get a promotion because you're going to the wrong people for advice — people you think have more respect and influence than they actually do.

Well-connected bosses will help you get to the bottom of a very important question: Is there a real "next job" for you at this organization? 

Ask yourself: 

• Are most people who hold your aspirational role hired internally or externally? If internally, what role did they hold before, and how long did it take them to climb up?
• Are the skills needed to succeed at this job related to the ones needed to succeed at the one below it, or are they different? 
• Are extra responsibilities and roles you take on giving you visibility and showcasing leadership and other skills beyond those you use in your current position?
• How scarce is your aspirational role? How many people, relative to those who are competitive, get this role per year (or quarter)?

3. Your workplace has experienced a major jolt

Sometimes you fail to get promoted because a jolt has disrupted the status hierarchy. One day you had status, the next day it's gone. 

Going from working in an office to working from home is a jolt most of us have experience with. The factors that helped us maintain our status pre-jolt, like sitting at the front of the room, were no longer effective post-jolt: There is no front seat on Zoom. 

These shifts might catch you off guard. Imagine, for example, that your company suddenly changes its official language from English to French. Starting the next day, all company meetings must be held in French. Instantly, the non-native speakers would feel a drop in status. 

If you've experienced a jolt at work:

• Don't shoot yourself in the foot. For example, don't refuse to share resources with colleagues you view as competitors, even if you feel like that will lead to short-term gains. 
• Act fast. Carefully read the situation and change course if your prior behaviors no longer help you earn respect. Your goal is to keep yourself on track to get a promotion, and being adaptable to jolts is key to achieving that goal. 

Tessa West is a social psychologist and professor at New York University. She has spent years leveraging science to help people solve interpersonal conflicts in the workplace. She's the author of "Jerks at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About Them" and "Job Therapy: Finding Work That Works for You." Follow Tessa on Twitter @TessaWestNYU.

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Excerpt adapted from "Job Therapy: Finding Work That Works For You″ by Tessa West. Copyright © 2024. Reprinted with permission of Portfolio, an imprint of Penguin Random House. All rights reserved.