How to ask to be paid fairly: Here's exactly what to say—it's ‘not confrontational,' it's ‘calm and confident'

There are many reasons people want more pay at work: it could be that they're exceeding expectations or expanding their responsibilities — or that inflation has raised the cost of living. But for some employees, it might be a matter of getting paid fairly. They may discover they make less than their colleagues who are doing the same job.

If you suspect you're being compensated less than your peers, it's important to advocate for yourself. That conversation looks a little bit different than one in which you'd ask for a raise.

"Asking for a raise is about asking for more money because you've been offering more to the company compared to other people at the same level," says Gorick Ng, a Harvard University career advisor and creator of the "How To Say It" flashcard series for professional communication. "Asking for parity is about asking for more money because you've been offered less by the company compared to other people at the same level."

This is especially common for women and members of some minority groups. Today, women are paid 84 cents to a man's dollar, according to a National Women's Law Center analysis of U.S. Census Bureau data.

If you think that you're making less than your peers, here's how to go about making the case for equal pay.

'I want to make sure I'm getting paid what I should be'

Before you can bring up parity with your boss, you'll want clear proof points that the company is lagging behind in paying you fairly.

If you feel comfortable bringing it up with your colleagues, try saying something like, "I'm not looking to share this with anyone — this is a confidential conversation, but I want to make sure I'm getting paid what I should be getting paid for our job level," says Vicki Salemi, career expert at Monster. "Do you mind sharing your salary with me and I will share mine with you to make sure you're also being paid equitably?"

You'll want this to be a conversation in person as opposed to one over email or a messaging app. You can also bring this up with former colleagues or former bosses who might have insights about internal pay.

'It would mean a lot to me to have your support'

Once you've collected your data points, schedule a meeting with your manager and start by letting them know that you really enjoy working with them and on their team, and that you're excited about the many initiatives you have coming up.

Then, let them know what you've found and why you think you should be making more. Ng gives an example from his book of the language one worker used to raise the issue with their boss:

I made this table comparing my peers at other schools within our university system. As you can see, I launched and now run a program that is about twice as large as the programs at our peer institutions. I also have a master's degree, which several of my peers do not. But when I look at my salary, I am well below the level my peers are at.

I would like to achieve pay equity with my peers, which would be 14% more than where I am at today. It would mean a lot to me to have your support to advocate for this increase. Would that be possible?

The idea is to draw a clear comparison between you and those colleagues performing the same duties who are getting paid more.

Remember, this conversation is "not confrontational," says Salemi. "It's calm and confident."

If after you've spoken it looks like your boss and company are reluctant to compensate you fairly, "there are other organizations out there who advocate for pay parity," says Salemi. "Work for them instead!"

Ready to boost your income and career? Don't miss our special Black Friday offer: 55% off all Smarter by CNBC Make It online courses. Learn how to earn passive income online, master your money, ace your job interview and salary negotiations, and become an effective communicator. Use coupon code THANKS24 to get the best deal of the season—offer valid 11/25/24 through 12/2/24.

Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It's newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life.