Widow needs court order to get honeymoon pictures

After their picture-perfect wedding day, Caroline and Michael Monroe pinched pennies, saving up for their honeymoon to Ireland in 2018.

“It was a dream until it was a nightmare, in an instant, and here we are,” Caroline said.

Michael was killed in a car crash during their trip. Caroline was severely injured.

“Michael was 31 [years old]. We were not planning on a funeral,” she said.

The couple had lived in Orange, Connecticut. Caroline now lives in Guilford, CT.

Five years after his passing, she surrounds herself with memories made with her late husband from the pictures around her home to his wedding ring she wears around her neck.

“I wear it every single day and every time I hear it [jangle] I think of him, and I hope he’s with me,” she said, clutching the necklace.

But something’s missing, “I remember distinctly on our trip there were some pictures that he took, that I never saw.”

And now she says, “They’re just floating out there in Google.”

After his death abroad and Caroline’s return to Connecticut, he says a friend uploaded Michael’s photos to his Google Drive for safekeeping before they got rid of his phone.

Caroline says at that time, “We assumed that I would be able to access somehow. I’ve tried to log into his computer, apparently, I don’t know his passwords either.”

Now, time is ticking for Caroline to get access to these photos after Google announced they’d be deleting all inactive accounts beginning in December.

“Finally, I was like, ‘I don’t know what to do’ and that’s when I emailed you,” she said about reaching out to NBC CT Responds.

Even though Caroline is Michael’s widow, and she has his death certificate and their marriage certificate, Google won’t just give her the photos.

“While she is the next of kin, or the surviving spouse, or the legal representative, whichever term you wish to choose, there's still the issue of Google having to comply with federal law,” said Wayne Unger, assistant professor of law at Quinnipiac University School of Law.

That law is the Stored Communications Act. Unger says simply put, it was created to protect our online communications, so a computer service or messaging provider used by the public legally cannot disclose our texts, emails and pictures for example, unless there’s an exception like a police warrant.

So, even though she’s his widow, in an email to Caroline, Google says she needs to get an exception through a judge, writing “In order to proceed, a court order is required by U.S. law.”

We reached out to Google for comment but haven’t heard back.

Unger explains, “By receiving the court order that allows Google to disclose it, in a way provides the legal cover for Google in sharing or passing on or disclosing these kind of digital assets.”

“I know that they’re trying to protect his privacy, but these are pictures of me too. You know? These are my honeymoon pictures,” Caroline said.

Robyn Sechler feels for Caroline. She, too, struggled to get access to special memories located on a phone after the passing of her father.

“Nobody wants to think about what happens when they’re not here anymore, but the reality is if we can plan ahead, we’re making it easier for our family members and easier for our loved ones to be able to navigate those waters afterward,” said Sechler, who is an estate planner and works for GoodTrust.

GoodTrust is a one-of-a-kind estate planning tool that creates an online vault of sorts to organize your digital assets and accounts and assign their beneficiaries before your passing.

“When you think of estate planning or creating your will, we generally think about passing on your home, or your money, or your car,” Sechler said. “But we don’t think about our online life. We don’t tend to put value on that. But there are lots of things that have value, both monetary and sentimental.”

From photos and videos uploaded onto sites online to funds accumulated in peer-to-peer payment apps, who will know where they are when you die?

What about the airline points you’ve accumulated? And your financial and social media accounts, too?

“If we just leave them open and out there for anybody, they can become a risk for cybersecurity where people can access your information, take over your identity,” Sechler said.

She encourages people of any age and income to start estate planning, so your legacy doesn’t get lost. Unger suggests people work with a probate attorney and leave important passwords in their will.

Another easy step is to add trusted contacts to your online accounts so they can take over control after your death. It takes just a minute or two.

Most sites have these legacy options. Google does, too.

“At 30, 31 [years old] who thinks to put a legacy thing in?” asked Caroline, who says she is sharing her heartbreak to help others avoid her headache.

NBC CT Responds has helped her reopen her case with Google after she became overwhelmed with the process a couple of years back.

After we reached out to the company, Google connected with Caroline and said it will continue to keep Michael’s account until she gets the court order.

“There are no more memories that I’m going to have with him. Those are the memories that I have,” she said.

NBC CT Responds was happy to help Caroline as best we could, but her struggle is still far from over. She tells us she’s having a really hard time finding a lawyer who wants to help her.

Those she’s spoken to say her court process will be costly and time-consuming, too.

How to add legacy contacts to popular social media and email sites

Google:

Google has users set up something called an “inactive account manager.” You can customize what this person has access to and you can set up for this person to be contacted automatically if you stop using Google products for an extended amount of time. You can sign up here.

Apple ID:

You can follow the steps on their website.

Facebook:

Facebook’s legacy contact enables a loved one to close your account after your passing or “memorialize” someone’s Facebook page with a pinned post, among other things. More details can be found here.

To add one - go to Settings & Privacy, click on Settings, then Accounts Center, then Personal Details, then Account Ownership & Control, then Memorialization Settings.

Instagram:

Instagram does not have a “legacy contact” option, so make sure to leave instructions in your will for what your hope is for the account after your passing. Someone can request your account to be “memorialized” after your passing.

X:

X does not have a legacy policy but can work on behalf of the estate to remove a deceased user’s account. Details are available here.