It isn't the nightmare of facing a sweep by the Brewers that's causing some Marlins to lie wide awake at the team hotel.
Nor is it the memory of Ricky Nolasco's poor performance on the mound that finds them huddled together for comfort, or Leo Núñez' old chin hair that haunts them in the night.
"At least two pairs of Marlins players" are sharing rooms on the road in Milwaukee, according to the Palm Beach Post, because they're terrified of a portly little spectre named Charles Pfister who haunts the century-old Victorian hotel that bears his name.
The Pfister ghost has struck before, and his legend has spread so far throughout the league that even Fish are spooked. Twins center fielder Carlos Gomez claims to have experienced strange occurrences at the hotel, and Seattle's Adrian Beltre slept with a bat after a run-in while he played for the Dodgers. Now the Dodgers refuse to stay at the Pfister, and some Marlins are refusing to sleep alone.
For players in a sport defined by curses and superstitions, this seems especially pansy of the big, muscly Marlins. Of course, with no desire to become a ghost ourselves, we'll decline to say it to their faces.
But there's curses of both a Bambino and a billy goat, and a late Cleveland trainer who many believe returned to the field in the form of a seagull. There's even a fan of the AAA Iowa Cubs who, according to the team's players, should only be ignored or mistreated at the risk of certain career death or disaster -- not to mention a plethora of stadium spirits and countless locker room, at-bat, and pre-game superstitions by which players swear. What's an extra ghost to baseball?
What the Marlins really need is a poltergeist who can guide their pitches around a bat or two -- especially Ricky Weeks' -- but they'll have to figure out how to win today's 3rd game against the Brewers on their own (or will they?). Whatever the outcome, they next head to Los Angeles -- a city haunted by nothing but the ghost of baseball cutie Alyssa Milano's career.
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At least two pairs of them will be relieved.
Janie Campbell would welcome being haunted by ballpark hot dogs. Her work has appeared in irreverent sports sites around the Internet.
